While the Master is away

Why is it that I feel like I can’t be away from my Master? There are times when we are apart that I just hate every minute that I’m away from him. Here I am on a Sat. night, home with out my Master. Every minute is going by and I am wondering why can’t I shake this feeling. It doesn’t bother me when I know when he is going to be coming home. He leaves and doesn’t say “hey I’ll be home in a little bit”. NO he just walks out the house and that’s it. I’m supposed to except the fact that he is with out me. I love my Master so much I don’t like being with out him. I want to be with him every minute of the day. When he is gone to just go to the store, I don’t like it. Some times I feel like maybe I have made it so he doesn’t want to be around me. That is not a great feeling, knowing that some one you love doesn’t want to be around you. He hasn’t ever just left for the night, specially on a Saturday night and left me at home. Is he mad at me I don’t know. He didn’t seem like it when he left. I should be able to just hang out at home and feel o k with him not being here, but I don’t. I feel like I’m lost. I walk around the house with nothing to do, looking for something to keep my mind busy. I’m going nuts. I miss him. So why do I feel so weird when he’s not here.

All I ever want to do is to be with him. I don’t care what we are doing or where we are at. I just want to be around my Master. Damn I’m so sprung!!! Are all Submissive s this way?

The things we do, we wish we wouldn’t!

Today my Master called me at work early in the morning. We usually talk around 10am or so, just to say Hi, or for me to get instructions. I was really happy and surprised to hear from him. And then to hear it was just to say hi to me. I felt so special. I know the little things that make us happy. We got to talking about things. Got the instructions for what I need to do after work. Then of course I always have to ruin the nice conversation. There we are both smiling ( I think on his end too). And then I have to ask dumb questions. Then he got annoyed, then the conversation ends. That happens a lot. Why is it I do that. Why can’t I just except the nice conversation and leave it at that. I guess I think is that I really go the wrong way to ask Master for anything. If I want some thing, or need something. I don’t just say For example… ” Hey Master can I talk to you for a minute.”? Master I would really like a new toy, is there any way we can get one?” I’m sure if I was to go about thing that way I would get more and not piss him off. Of course I don’t think about that, at the time. No, Why does it take me all day or months to figure this out. I have been with Master long enough to know this. The way I go about it is like a complaint. A whinny little girl. “ohhh , can I go shopping for some clothes or things I need?, Well damn can’t I do it my self Master?” wha wha wha. What a little girl, I might as well stomped my feet and jumped up and down. There is more to it, but really don’t want to go into it. But that really is not demonstrating to Master that I want my permanent collar. I mean that is one of my goals in life as a submissive. My most important goal is to serve and make Master happy and I think some times I just don’t do that. I remember Master saying if I was to use my mind and worry about doing that, instead of worrying about the little stuff I would be better off. I use my mind to think about stupid stuff when I should be using my brain to some thing useful. I would love to hear Master say that I am such a good sub. I wish it could go a long time with out punishment, or him getting up set cuz I forgot to do some thing. Or for me to say the wrong thing on the phone when he is just trying to say hello, and hear my voice to put him in a better mood.

How do I keep myself focused on what is the most important thing, serving Master?

The Kings Day

As we celebrate on the Kings day, I still have to work> Yea the kids and Master had the day off to play around. Not me. But oh well. I didn’t have to cook tonight. Why is it, that no matter what type of job I have, I always have to work the Holidays. I hate that. I need to work for the state. ha ha.

This weekend was great! Master gave me what I needed this weekend. I really need some good spankings and aggressiveness from him. It seems weird, I read some where that when a sub get a little bit of aggressiveness, that really means they want that from their Master. That is so true with me. usually when I start mouthing off, or getting a little freasky I really would love Master to take me over his lap and spank the shit out of me. I’m not sure why that is, but I LOVE IT.

The weekends of a submissive

I love the weekends! I don’t have to cook. I cook all week long and Master cooks on the weekends. I love the break from the kitchen. Sometimes I get a break from the dishes.. Just to let every one know… I’m not all that great at writing. I was hoping that this blog would do me some good. I would be able to talk about things that are going on with me and my thoughts. It seems right now all I can think about is memorizing this song for Master and the wedding. I keep thinking it’s going to be at least a year away. But the more decisions that I make now, the more I won’t have to later. I just can’t wait to be Mrs. Dawson! I swear I believe that I am the luckiest women in the world. Yes other women have great men, but I have the best man for me. This weekend the Master and I are just hanging around the house. Master did take me out to eat sushi, I really do like eating that. I’m 34 and have never really had any sushi until I was with Master. I always thought that it would taste fishy. I know I saw some, some time in a buffet place and it didn’t smell all that great. I guess that is one thing that I love about Master is that he has tried so many things that I have not, he has opened my eyes to so much since we have been together. I also like the weekends with Master because we really get to spend time together and relax. No running kids around, no teachers calling. Ya know all the week bull shit. Plus Master is in such a better mood on the weekends. I always feel so bad for him, he has to drive so far to work, and he doesn’t get home until late. You leave in the dark and come home in the dark. That would suck. Well I guess that is all for now.. Maybe when I get the hang of this blog thing, they might be more interesting.

humm First day of the blog

Hi you all, Not sure really if any one is going to read this or not. This is my first post ever. Never have wrote a blog. I will tell you about me little by little. I hope to have people read this all the time.

princess

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